Important Tooting of My Own Horn

Before I write today’s Top 5, I wanted to give myself two pats on the back:

Pat #1: You know how in my post “It Begins” I attributed the main idea of my ranking system to the inordinate number of rankings (“best of all time”? etc.)  that I read on espn.com? Well, yesterday, I read the first actual Top 5 ranking on espn.com that I’ve seen since I started writing this blog. I mean, sure, they rank stuff all the time, but they frequently use top 10, top 25, or even top 100 (they generally resort to a top 100 when they want to do drawn-out countdowns). Anyway, this particular Top 5 was written by Joe Theismann, and it was entitled “Best Organizations in the NFL?”.

I must say, I can out-Top 5 Joe Theismann any day (given that my competition is Joe Theismann, I guess that’s not saying much. If Tony Kornheiser or Bill Simmons were to write a Top 5, I’m sure they would give me a much better run for my money). First of all, his title had a question mark. His punctuation undermines his own authority and expertise (not that he has any). Second of all, he put the Dallas Cowboys as third on his list. I mean, historically they are a good team, but I can’t even remember the last time they won their division (before the Super-Bowl-loser curse, the Eagles dominated the NFC east for years, and the last two years the Giants have squeaked it out). Since he is speaking about current organizations, one would think he would be able to recall recent history a little more effectively. He also included the Ravens as his fifth choice, who are perenially dominated by the Steelers (who didn’t make his list, btw). The one regret I don’t have about missing almost an entire season of Monday Night Football this year is the fact that I didn’t get to hear Theismann co-announce the games. Seriously, this guy couldn’t put together a good Top 5 if he only had seven things to choose from.

How is this a pat on my back, you say? Well, by the transitive property, I rule. It plays out like this: If Joe Theismann sucks, and I am not Joe Theismann, then I don’t suck. In fact, my opinions are so contrary to his, I am the opposite of suck. The opposite of suck is rule, so I rule. The Law of Curtis is precise.

Pat #2:  This week my blog received its first comments from individuals outside my friends and family. Two strangers both commented on my “Top 5 things that Rock About France” post, on the same day, strangely enough. According to these readers, my blog is “pretty cool” and “includes a lot of very interesting information”. Seems like other people are catching on to the Law of Curtis. Pretty soon I’ll be an international sensation, and major corporations will want to pay me to advertise on this site. Actually, if that were the case, I’d probably end up having to share royalties with wordpress. I checked the box that said I agreed with the terms & conditions, but who ever actually reads those things anyway. I hope I don’t owe WordPress blood plasma, or my firstborn child, or anything creepy like that.

Anyway, we’re getting there, top fivers, we’re getting there. I thank all of you regular readers out there, particularly those who comment and give me ongoing encouragement to write. I hope that the site continues to be “pretty cool” and to “include very interesting information” for you all. Tootles.

Tags: ESPN, Law of Curtis, recognition, Top 5